I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You smell like stripper and shame
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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