We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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