Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
