let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
