He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
