Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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