I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
