do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
