Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
