I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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