A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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