More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
