I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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