Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
