Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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