And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
