Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
