His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
