she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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