Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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