I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
