I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
