I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
