my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
