so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
