wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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