Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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