So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
