its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
wow bdsm is so cute
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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