the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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