Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
