I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
