did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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