Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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