Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
