elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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