My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
