I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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