4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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