they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
