Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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