I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
