I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
