Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
