I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
