Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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