planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
