So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
