I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
