so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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