All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
