I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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