Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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